What to do?

Oh, what to do. You think that you are doing the right thing, but how come it simply does not work? Every one that surrounds me is negative. It is so hard to stay positive when negativity is constantly pushed upon you. And, these people have no idea that they are so negative. It is the way that we were all brought up, and as unfortunate as some events in my life have been, they have afforded me the opportunity to learn how to look at the bright side. Now, how can I convince everyone else to do the same? There is no need to be bitter and condescending at all times. I am not perfect, but for fuck's sake, neither are you. Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut. Honestly, remember when your mom (or if your mom didn't tell you, then mine did) told you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? Or, if that is too hard for you, then you must remember to also mention the good things. The sad part is that you don't even realize you are doing it.

Every sentence that comes out of your mouth is negative. I express my wants and feelings, and they are immediately labeled as incorrect or silly. No worries, you are not going to stop me from expressing my feelings or my wants or my needs, I am adamant about at least getting them in the open. And, it is not necessary for you to agree with them, either. But, is it possible that they might be valid? Has that ever occurred to you? Because you don't agree with them, or because they seem trivial to you does not mean that they do not exist and therefore do not require validation. A simple sentence of understanding or even comprehension is acceptable. And, really, I would think that that would take less effort than coming up with some kind of retort to make me feel insignificant. But, it's your habit. You are never going to change. You are perfect. This I am not ever allowed to forget.

I suppose that you have been this way the entire time. But, now that my eyes have been opened, and I have learned some things about myself and the way the world works, this attitude is becoming more and more apparent. And, I don't like it. However, there is really nothing I can do about it. I can't make you change any more than you can understand where I am coming from. That is where my conundrum lies. What to do? It is not healthy for me to worry about this. It is not healthy for me to allow this stress in my life. I do not know of any way to deal with it in a healthy fashion. My life would be so empty if I were to walk away from you, and that is something I am NOT willing to do. But, allowing you to walk all over me like this has started to take its toll on me....emotionally and physically. You are not easy to talk to. You are perfect, and it is very hard for you to see things from another person's point of view.

Maybe it is the hormones. But, either way you look at it, it's not good. It's not always about you. I am in this world, too.